"Do the chores, make babies"

According to a study recently carried out by JOHUD,  women say they want to make decisions, share responsibilities, choose their own field of study, go places and meet people without feeling they are under supervision. All of this  is great for women's equal opportunity - if only they could get what they want. But, as our johud-gender-study

reveals, there are those in the community who place obstacles in their way.

  There are those men who still think that 'their' women should have no role in public, and who place severe restrictions on where their women go, who they meet with and how they get access to information. Then, to make matters worse, there are other women who support this process - whether as mothers encouraging their sons to control their sisters, or mothers-in-law placing huge burdens on new wives and mothers.  It's all a story of a mismatch of expectations, which often results in the inevitable conflict and confusion of social change.  

The social, economic and political situation in poor and marginalized communities is always changing.  That's the situation  that JOHUD seeks to understand, so that they can be sure that they offer the right kind of projects and services to all the members of the community - to meet new needs and to prepare people for new challenges.  That's why we carry out research - so we have a strong evidence base on which to draw when making important decisions. In 2008, with support from CIDA's  Gender and Social Fund, JOHUD worked with around 60 poor and marginalized men and women from Sahab and Irbid to investigate their perceptions about gender relations in their community.

  The  report provides a summary of the main findings into a study of gender  relations in 2 marginalized communities.  In the study,  30 men and 30 women from Sahab and Irbid were trained to hold themed conversations, and went out and interviewed their peers about their daily lives, their networks of friends, the opportunities they enjoyed and the challenges they faced as they grew up through childhood, adolescence, marriage and family life. The researchers also investigated attitudes towards education, work and political life, especially as it affected the growing trend for women to be more active in these  areas.  Central to the research approach was the collection of the narratives that circulate in the community - stories about the hopes  and aspirations of women and men in these communities - and how they seek to overcome the obstacles they face trying to get a better life where they can fulfill their potential

Most striking was the ways that men and women differ in the attitudes and opinions.  Women appear to have listened to the messages of equality and rights, and they are seeking a wider role. Men, on the other hand, appear to be increasingly marginalized by poverty and lack of opportunity, and react by creating obstacles to 'their' women playing a wider role. Thus, for example, the men in this study assert their rights to decide where the women in their family go, what they wear and who they mix with. For some women, that means that once they are married, they will no longer be allowed to visit the coffee shop or to meet with their friends.  

  While women want to take up jobs in social work and the financial sector, some men around them still are resistant to the idea of them working at all, and nearly all of them resist the idea of women working in mixed environments. On some issues both men and women seem to agree - for example that working in factories , or as a nurse in a hospital are simply inappropriate; it's a brave woman who asserts her right to such employment. If she faces a problem  she will be the one to blame. It's not surprising, then, that many women are fearful of taking risks and making their own decisions.

The study provides examples of the ways that the perceptions of these communities shape the opportunities that are open to women and women to live more fulfilled lives.  The final report, drafted by the lead researchers Winkie Williamson and Eman Nimri, (also Deputy Executive Director of JOHUD), provides insights into the complex lives of women as they struggle to adapt to a rapidly changing world. 

The main findings were released in a report in May  2009. That provides the starting point for the JOHUD research team to meet with interested stakeholders to present their study.  Together they  will identify ways that improve the design and delivery of development interventions, in order for women to enjoy the equal rights laid down in the UN Convention to End all Forms of Discrimination against Women  (CEDAW) - to which Jordan is a signatory.  The findings will help improve the design of projects that promote greater gender equity. 

Overall the objective is to improve the situation for women, because it is they who pay the main price for gender inequality. Programmes under consideration include targeting women in the age bracket 45 - 60 because they have specific social and health needs linked to their menopause, and because as mothers-in-law, their attitudes and actions often have very negative impacts on the quality of life for their daughters in law.  One of the main findings of this study is that women have much to gain from recognizing their common situation across all ages  and acting in solidarity as women.

But programmes can also help men; the research indicates clearly that young men want a better relationship with their fathers, and JOHUD is considering parenting classes targeting fathers. All men would benefit from better communication and negotiation skills - to improve family relations and also as a foundation for improved work opportunity. In the final analysis, only by men and women recognizing their interdependence can they then tackle some of the broader challenges of overcoming poverty and social exclusion.

The 60 page report:  johud-gender-study is available here as pdf download in English

The Arabic version will be released in June  2009.

The detailed reports (100+ pages) are also available on request from JOHUD

Selected quotes from the study

"Some habits  we love: that we  have the rights in family and that we control our sister.  Our mothers raised us in this way" 

(Young man)

"There was a girl and her mother told her brother not to let her go out. She gave her son  a stick and gave him authority to beat his sister".   

(Woman)

"So far I've been extremely unhappy with my husband.  If my father had just given me some input in the choice, I know I would be much happier right now" 

 (Woman)

There was a women who was working.  When she was pregnant, her husband helped  her in the house.  The mother-in-law asked her "who is doing all the cleaning?" . She said "I am".  The mother in law said:  "You are a liar.  You should go back and do it all again".

"Working has made my life so much better.  Before I started working I had so much free time and I was very bored at home.  I had no social network and rarely interacted with anyone but my husband and children.  But when I started working it opened my eyes to the outside world.  Not to mention that it has given me confidence, and my husband and I get along much better now."

(Woman)

"I used to hit my son to show him that I am the man at the house. He has started to hate and fear me. Why? I do not want to deal with my kid in this way"

(Man)

"Women who enter politics will gather other women against men" 
(Man)

... By talking about these issues - by asking others - it's as if I am asking myself" (Man)

"Maybe because we are men we are not used to giving answers to questions. It's either yes or no... but with girls they have to give answers and explain"  

(Man)